The Problem With Karen

At the risk of sounding like a Karen, I really hate the term "Karen."

Yes, I know. I'm a middle-aged white woman, so it's no surprise that I hate that word and all the baggage it carries. But the fact that I risk being shamed by speaking out about this term proves my point: "Karen" is a word that's meant to keep women quiet and in their place. And the worst part? Women are all too happy to participate in using it, helping to police ourselves. 

We're doing the work for them.

If there's one thing women are well versed in, it's mean girl behavior. We know it when we see it, and we are experts at avoiding it, so it makes sense that we'd join in and point the finger at others to keep ourselves safe from being accused. We buy "Karen" t-shirts. We post memes and TikToks about "Karens." We roll our eyes and judge. The Karen bandwagon ends up being just another mean girl vehicle, and it's pretty effective at keeping us quiet for fear of being labeled a Karen.

Instead of speaking out, we shut down. We shut up. We shrink ourselves even more than the world already demands.

I work hard to face down my imposter syndrome and my people-pleasing tendencies that were systematically embedded in me from the day I was born. I have to muster up the courage to speak up when I'm interrupted, find the right words to stand up for myself when I'm being wronged. And this Karen nonsense? It's getting in my way. And if you're a woman, it's getting in your way, too.

Are there Karens who deserve to be shamed for their entitled demands to speak to the manager? Of course! But there's a much better way to call them out. There's already a word for someone who's a Karen. It's gender-neutral, satisfying to use and 100% accurate. Say it with me: Asshole.

This article was originally published on LinkedIn.