How to Find Purpose in a World Without Meaning

When I was 15 years old, I had an existential crisis. 

I don't even remember what day of the week it was. It was an utterly normal day, otherwise totally unremarkable, that quickly unraveled into a downward spiral. It suddenly dawned on me that everything is a human construct. I saw clearly in that moment that our world, and every single thing in it, had value simply because we assigned value to it. And in that moment of clarity, I recognized what that actually meant. I was faced with the devastating thought that if everything is made up, then nothing has intrinsic meaning. The haunting question I was left to answer: how do I find purpose in a world where nothing matters?

It took time to find the answer. I didn't find it quickly or in a linear way. It didn't come to me in a singular moment of clarity like that seminal question had. But over time, I came to understand that, in a world where meaning is arbitrary, I had the opportunity to choose what I value. And if I had to sum it up in a word, I would say the answer for me is love.

It sounds trite. I mean, it's a pretty unoriginal answer. But love is the only purpose that seems elemental to me. It's not made up, it's the opposite. It's deeply embedded in all living things. We show it in so many ways — through our actions and what we say, and sometimes what we don't say and what we don't do. Like the white lie you tell your friend when she asks if you like her new sweater. You say you love the color! But really, that's the only thing you like about it, so you keep the rest to yourself, a simple act of love. We show love through art and creativity and body language and time — time spent with the people we love and time spent away from them so we can provide for them.

So whether you're a working parent or an at-home parent, you're doing it right. Whether you're starting your first job at a frozen yogurt shop or taking the helm as CEO, you're doing it right. Even if you're a student getting your first failing grade, you're doing it right because you're learning a valuable life lesson. No matter what you're doing or where you've ended up, you're doing it right, not because you did a perfect job but because you're living your life. You're on the right path because it's your path. You chose it, and you decide where it leads next.

I realize that not everyone is going to agree with the conclusion I reached — that love is the only thing that's real. It's ok that each of us might have a different answer to where we find purpose. The one thing we all have in common is that we're all making it up as we go along. Just like me, you're finding your way, one success — one mistake — at a time. And the best part? There are no mistakes, only choices.